The Doubtful Collection

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The Doubtful Collection

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Doubts Arise Here lie the poetry pieces I wrote when doubts of my faith arose in my heart.
	Prayer for the Weak Create in me a clean heart, O God. Cast me not away from Thy presence, O Lord. Take not Thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me, the joy of my salvation. And renew a bright spirit within me. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Amen.
The Meditation of Joolie I praise Your name, O Lord, yet I seem so lost. I don't want to disappoint You, but I don't know where else to turn. I fell in love with one of Your creations, O God. But I feel as if You aren't looking upon me with a smile. Why, O Lord, must I suffer this way? Can't you see my struggle through this time of need? And so, my Prince of peace, I open my eyes from prayer, and realize that you are there... Amen.
	Common Sense I met this guy one day; he told me how smart he had become since high school. He said that he didn't believe in God, yet, he said his IQ was over 200. He quotes to me often, "If Christ is real, why can't I see Him with my own eyes?" This guy, he is so into facts over spiritual matters. He tells me that humans do not have souls, otherwise, a computer or some famous instrument of science would have seen it already. I always tell him that the human eye cannot see the soul that rests within the human body. Yet he laughs at my "stupidity" for saying what I say. If only he could see...if only he could know. I pray for him so hard and I heard my Creator's voice calmly say to me... "If this guy you have met is so smart...why is he so slow to see his Creator?"
Beauty Father, I come to You in sadness. Why doesn't my life stay in gladness? The days grow long and I sit alone. My God, no one will ever call me on the phone. I sit and wonder why my pathetic life goes on... ...then again, there are those things called "angels" outside in the lawn. I look out the window while everyone is having fun. I close my eyes and you give me peace through Your only Son.
	Doxology of Hannah In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. My Lord, my God, I admire You the most. I need you now, I need Your love. Don't forget my problems as you protect me from above. My earthly love is far away and I miss him so. But I rest assure that you shall never let my heart sink low. Amen.
Anger of the Sinner I pray to You and You do not answer. I think to myself, "Why did You give me this cancer?" I turn to the TV and see a pastor. Sometimes I wish that I could just die faster. You never loved me, You didn't even try. You didn't hear me when I lay down and cried. I went to church over and over again. You never cleansed me away from my "sin". Then I fell asleep that night and I saw a vision of You. As I squinted, my mind had no clue. I walked toward You and saw Your arms streched out. I squinted harder, and as I saw You, I wanted to shout. As you hung there helpless and still. You lifted Your head up as if you had been killed. As I stood quiet and felt something by my feet flood, I looked down and saw Your red Blood. I looked up quickly and saw the nails in Your feet. My eyes filled with tears...almost like sleet. As I woke up, the cancer had made my body even thinner. I closed my eyes and died an angry sinner.

"Kyrie Eleison, Christe Eleison, Kyrie Eleison..."